Love, and another way of asking for it

I haven't watch TV for a long, long time. The odd episode of Dr. Who shouldn't count. And ok, I admit that now and again a very good movie is a way to shut me up and force me to stay put on the couch. But that's about it.

I somehow stopped watching TV for nearly 2 years ago now, and I haven't looked back since. Of course, surrogate screens make up for it; there's Internet, so checking Google News is the 1st thing I do early morning (after I fed the cats, led the dog out, made coffee, got my cigarettes, led the dog back in, sat behind the PC, walked back to the kitchen to get my pills which I of course forgot again, but hey that's were the pills are for anyway). I may be blond, but not completely stupid: I want to know what's going on in this world. So this type of news checking works for me.
In fact, it's a lot better as well, as I can choose whenever and whatever I want to see/read. The news is more than Bush, economical issues or Downing Street alone. If it wasn't for Google News, I would never have known that Anna Nicole Smith, whilst heavily pregnant and under influence of some sort of illegal drug, was filmed by her not-so-official-husband 3 months before she died (so that the whole world could see how lonely and sad she actually was). I mean, did you know that? You see? Just an example.

I do not miss TV, lets say for about 95%. The remaining part of 5% belongs to MMRSP (Missing My Really Special Programs). These programs vary in contents and importance, but nr. 1 is and has always been Ally McBeal.
I loved it. You could wake me up in the middle of the night, just by whispering "Ally...". But it became more of a problem when Ally's going-to-be-new lover was introduced to the series. It was Robert Downey Jr.

Now I am far from going all wild about actors/actresses, I mean you like them or you don't, some may be even admired, but life in the real world, or in my real world, doesn't look anything like theirs. But then you see Robert. And with Robert, things seem different.

I am certainly not going to explain all the ins and outs of "why precisely Robert, of all the men in the world, is to me the representation of Mr. Love", because I just haven't got the time right now to spend an extra 2 hrs on this post and I might probably bore you to death. (Hard to believe though, but if so, I'm afraid you need a (new) pair of glasses... I mean, have you ever looked into his eyes??)


Last weekend life wasn't easy; 'not easy' in this context are grown-up words for bloody miserable. Because of trying to stay ahead of this state of mind, the dramatic mood swings started to attack. To make things worse of course, I began thinking about Love. There are so many ways of 'being loved', but I realised that it never really occurred to me that there are also different ways of asking for it. Dramatic mood swings then turned into melo-dramatic ones, as I wondered whether or not I might have been asking the wrong Love-question all my life. The "there's no light at the end of this tunnel"-mood was trying hard to approach "just feeling bloody miserable".

But when times are hard, there's always YouTube. It comes close to a life saviour, especially for melo-dramatic types like me. It provides you with a never ending stream of vid's and music so you can create the most perfect drama setting for a good old melancholic crying session. And it's so much easier to look (=ask) for Love as well, instead of in reality. Just type the word into the search field and wow, see that? It's Robert Downey Jr.!

(just in case that he IS your type, you'll probably miss out on the lyrics completely, so they're here too. And Elton, not to be offensive, but thanks for swapping your personal appearance in this vid for Mr. Love himself)

I Want Love
Written by Elton John/Bernie Taupin

I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated

I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough

A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love