No Good

Ever had the feeling that people think you're not up to much? You don't fit their standards? No matter what you do, it is never satisfying or good enough to make them happy, or at least acceptive.

Most of my life I've been juggling with this, trying my hardest to please everyone around me, whether it was in private matters or work related. What an idiot I was... it's an impossible task. But most of all, I had seem to forgotten one person specifically: and that was myself.

Although pleasing yourself can be translated in different ways of behaviour, most of us know, deep down, how important it is and how you can please yourself without ignoring the ones who deserve to be pleased as well. I truly think that you fail miserably to make someone else happy, if you don't take care of yourself. In the end, you end up being depressed and feeling down most of the time. Assuming the ones around you, do like / love /care for you, it seems pretty difficult for me to make someone happy when you are thinking rubbish of yourself.

I am changing recently, even though it's damn hard. One thing is dealing with compliments. Instead of immediately turning them down, I try to believe them and tell myself to be proud. Funnily enough, this time seems to be "perfect" for practising. I don't think I've ever been in a tougher situation like this before, and people are telling me things that I would have considered as complete and utter bullshit before.

Apparently, I look good (well, a lot better compared to what I looked like over the last few years). I know what I want and work hard to be able to reach my goals (to be honest, knowing what I want is still a bit of an unstable fact to me, but the rough lines are there and hopefully I can soon set up the final plan). Time is short this morning, so no more examples but it is just to give an idea.

But one thing's for sure: think good of yourself. Believe in and have trust in yourself. Once you've got that going, you can be good for someone else.

A bit of sarcasme can't do much harm though, that's why I fell for Amy Winehouse's song... Once in a while you'll find yourself in a situation where you think:

-You Know I'm No Good-

J