MY IMMORTAL, endless hurts

Why is it, that every time I think I finally understand the moody business, it feels like I'm being tested?

Why do I feel that I have to prove myself to this horrible voice inside me, again, when I felt confident enough to stand up and let it all out? Damn!

My head is filled with questions. Maybe I'm wrong, but who knows: is it part of the long road to the full acceptance of yourself? That you also have to accept that those feelings will never die? Immortality for the negative? Are the bumps in the road reminders of the vulnerable you, tortured by the bad and stubborn little demons in your head? And when you stumble and fall flat on your face, they turn to you like Anne Robinson and viciously say:

"You're the weakest link, goodbye!"

Oh well, if testing me is what they want, then let them (said with my brave face-mask on). When I get my act together, I'll fight back. For now, I have to focus on getting the strength back, without being disturbed or influenced by whatever or whoever is trying to do so. As usual, my fav recipe is used again to try to fulfill my needs. Suppose you can call that testing too.

And anyway, feeling weak is almost a pleasure with this Evanescence song...